Incompetency
So, let me compile everything. I am the worst procrastinator and the person with the lowest determination that you have ever seen, and I have to say, I fucking hate myself for that, to a point that I think I am worthless, very seriously.
I promised myself that I have to cut down on food intake, and I failed it everytime. To make it worse, I'd always push all the blame to my dad for cooking excessive amount for dinner everytime, which is a fact. The thing is that, if I have a strong determination, nothing will stop me right? Failed.
Gained weight. To start with, jogging should be quite an easy thing for me if it's just around 5km per jog, a distance which I have given myself, and I wouldn't spend more than 45mins per jog, yet, I kept on procrastinating and eventually did nothing. Nothing except for staring into my laptop, and still did NOTHING. This time I pushed the blame to my operation, which made my waist unproportionally big, when I myself didn't even put in effort in it. Failed.
Exams are round the corner, and yet I can't bring myself to study. The weather's turning cold and I kept on getting flu everyday without fail. I blame it on the flu that made me can't focus on studying. Failed.
The only good thing about me is that, I still got into a local uni despite all those fucking shit attributes of mine. But I seriously have no idea how long this will last, how long everything will last.
I have to change everything about me before I can even proceed on my life. If not, I really can't see a point in living on this earth, if this is all I can afford. Fucking fed up with myself. If you don't change for the better, you might as well die off, loser.
